Bunmi’s Blog

Living with an autoimmune, food allergy or intolerance doesn’t mean life stops

Written by Bunmi. Thursday, August 16th, 2012

I’ve been in quite a reflective mood of late.  My life’s going through a lot of changes. Some planned and some unplanned.  I live with an autoimmune called Neuromyelitis Optica also known as (Devics Disease).  Although there are a range of auto-immunes around, mine is very rare.  I never know when it will affect me, how it will affect me and to what extent.  Although I have been lucky and have the best consultant helping me and being there for me, there is a gap.  The gap between my life before illness and diagnosis and the life after.  For me there’s been a lot of finding myself, researching how to live, how I feel, how to eat and much more.  When I think back, there has been many a time in the last 7 years that I’ve craved help, advise, coaching.  It’s so important to have that balance in life.  The balance of yeah I have an illness and the balance of creating your new healthy mind and body.  These things I’ve learnt no one can do for you.  It’s really down to you, but it requires a lot of strength and personal resource. There are ups and there are downs, highs and lows but ultimately it’s so truly worth it because at the end of the day, it’s the difference between living a life of choice or a life that you’re told you can.  I chose a life of choice.  A life that means I have control.  Rather than concentrating on the things I could no longer do, I made a decision to write a list and focus on things I wanted to do.  Because the auto-immune represents in the way that it does, one day I could be ok and another I’m tired and worn out or worse.  I rarely spend time concentrating on what has been instead I spend time dreaming about the future and what I want from it and most importantly how I can use my experience to help others.  Whenever I feel rubbish or I’m having a bad day, I always turn it around telling myself how can I help another person to not feel the way I feel right now.  That is so important to me.  At my worst I always thought……. ‘This is happening for a reason and time will show me why.’. Time has… My life is so different to what it used to be like.  I’m more content, happier and every day I live how I want to live.  Don’t get me wrong, some days are better than others but I stick to my motto that I focus on my future and what I want and my hopes and dreams.  I no longer focus on what I can’t have or what has been.  It’s purely about now!  When I first became unwell, I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish.  I didn’t even want to comprehend the things I no longer could.  I wanted to make my life purely about positivity.  Things like buying and driving my favourite car, changing jobs for something less stressful, using my experience to help others by starting a fulfilling business. Meeting the man of my dreams, getting married and having children.  My list goes on and these are just a few of the things I hoped and visualised having.

When your life changes so drastically no matter what your illness is, it’s important to stay positive, stay strong, ask for help and if you’re not the kind of ask for help kind of person, then look for coaches in other ways.  You might find one in the form of a book, music, art etc.  Find what works for you and make it happen, make it work.  There’s no hard or fast rule, we’re all so different and what we need is dependant on the type of person that we are.  I am curious though as there isn’t really too much help out there on coping once the diagnosis has been given.  For example as someone that is gluten intolerant, you’re told to eat a certain way and stay away from certain foods.  Many a times the research on what to eat is up to you.  You seek help on the Internet via twitter, blogs and Facebook in the hope that someone will enlighten you and then there’s of course the trial and error you take up yourself.  My question however is, shouldn’t there be more support on how to cope etc?  I’ve met so many people in this situation in recent years many full of confusion, unhappiness and sometimes depression.  Much of this can be alleviated if only there were support for them.  It’s a big deal changing your life, learning to eat differently.  Huge social changes come about like being unable to eat out with friends like you used to, favourite foods becoming misdemeanours, so much in life changes and it doesn’t just affect you as it reaches out to family and friends.  For anyone there that this affects no matter what you have weather it’s an autoimmune or food allergy or intolerance, stay strong and seek the support you need/want.  As for me I continue to use my wish to help others as my strength and support.  Through my work I’ve met some of the most amazing people (you know who you are) and despite my limitations I truly believe there’s nothing I can’t do and I’ll continue to strive to meet my hopes and aspirations day after day.

Keep smiling everyone and have a great day.